Wednesday, May 14, 2014

My Beautiful Girls

I have been feeling a tad bit "Off Balance" lately, and I decided it was time to get myself back to normal.  I knew exactly how to do that...I needed some scrappy therapy.  I got online and started browsing all of my favorite sites and manufacturers for inspiration...and one of those stops included going to My Creative Scrapbook to see what beautiful kits Pam had put together for this month.   I ended up subscribing (((FINALLY!!!))) after years of drooling over her gorgeous kits!  I never treated myself to anything...well, that changed!  I will get Pam's kits!  lol (YAY ME!)

I got the main kit in the mail and immediately tore into it!  All of the gorgeous things she adds to her kits are simply amazing...and I loved working with that kit!

I  went to My Creative Sketches to see what this moths AMAZING sketch inspiration was...and guess what1!??  I had time to participate!  YAY ME AGAIN! 

SOOOOOO.... I sat down at my desk and went to work.  WOW...I had totally missed my paints and mists and flowers and yes...even stickles!  LOL.  But most of all, I missed working with a kit...I missed making layouts.  I missed putting my photos onto something tangible instead of stuck in my computer. Six months was far longer than I actually realized.  
I was home.  I was in my comfort zone.  I was productive...and this was the result:

The photo is not the best because the weather has not been ideal for photographing layouts, but it'll do for now :)   Thank you Pam and Kris and all of you talented ladies at MCS for the inspiration! 

A much Needed Hiatus

Hello to all my scrappy friends out there!  I sure hope you all are doing fabulously and this post finds you all in good health and happiness!
I know I have been MIA for a while...and thank you to those of you who have checked on me from time to time.  It truly means the world to me to know that I not only have friends and family right here in New Caney, Texas.... but all over the world as well.  You all mean more to me than you know.
A few life altering events has been the reason for my hiatus.  The most prominent, and the most "earth shattering" is my divorce.  Yes...I was married for 20 years, which is more than most people these days can say.  From those 20 years, I have 5 BEAUTIFUL children whom I cherish.  They are my world. Now that the initial impact is over, and the healing stage is well underway, I have regained clarity.  I can only say, If God brings you to it, He WILL bring you through it.
There are a few things that I have learned through this divorce, about love, marriage, and the end of both.
I am not angry, I am not bitter, but I was "Off balance".  It was like I was walking around like those people in the V-8 commercials!  LOL    It affected my entire life, and I didn't realize it. No matter how hard I tried to be strong and not let it get to did.
Lesson #1... Divorce is HARD>>>even if it is the best thing for everyone.
People always say that divorce is hardest on the children.  While that my be true to some extent, I THOROUGHLY believe, that it is only as hard as the parents make it for them.  Parents who argue and bicker in front of the kids...make the kids feel as if they have to choose sides.  Parents who SUCK IT UP and deal with it out of the sight of the kids, tend to have children who heal quicker and their emotions don't go all wacky.  Same goes for arguing in front of or griping to friends, family, or loved ones. Don't make them pick sides.   Divorce should remain between TWO PEOPLE.  It is difficult enough as it is on the 2 parties involved....don't make it difficult on everyone else.
Lesson #2... Marriage is HARDER>>> again it should remain between TWO PEOPLE...not the rest of the world.  My marriage was strong for many years...why> because we did not allow friends and family to interfere.  Nor did we ever ask them to.  When we had problems, we worked them through them...compromised.  It is what you do in a marriage.  When we both started allowing friends and family into our inner circle, that is when the seeds of doubt got planted.  Yes, they grew into trees that we could no longer see around.  Remember as a kid, hugging a huge tree and your friend on the other side, hugging back...if you touched fingertips you were good right?  Well, our fingertips quit touching. Literally.
You have to TOUCH.  if you don't touch, you'll never make it through that dark forest together.
Lesson #3...Love is AMAZING>>>when it is real.  You can love a person with ALL YOUR HEART and give them your whole life, but if they do not love you BACK, then it will never last. If you have to ask your partner to touch you, to kiss you, to pretend that they love you...chances are, that is exactly what they are doing.  PRETENDING.  It was very difficult and took many years for me to realize it, but the love that my marriage was based on was not the EVERLASTING kind.  It was the comfortable, reliable, companionship kind.  Which eventually, was not enough. God gave me the strength to realize it, and....guess what...He gave me the strength to be OK with it.  I WILL LOVE AND BE LOVED.  I will settle for nothing less.
Now, my divorce was not solely because of the lack of love, by no means.  There is a WHOLE LOT MORE that played part in the failing of my marriage. But, I believe that it all was just minor problems created by the larger issues.  If you have love, cherish it.  NURTURE it.  If you love someone, tell them!  Loud and Often.  Let the whole world know...THIS is the one that my heart Loves. Because if you don' will fade.  It will become convenient.  It will become habit.  It will become a thing of the past.

Ok...enough rambling...
I am back.  I am scrapping.  All of my design teams ended in October which allowed for my much needed Hiatus...but now, I am ready to find ME again.  I am ready to start this new chapter of my life.  And any of you who know me, KNOW that scrap booking and crafting WILL BE PART of this new chapter!
It is raining today, but I did a layout with my two beautiful girls....I will get the photo and get that posted soon.  But, the purpose of this post, was not to post a layout yet.  It was to tell you all my situation, explain my absence, and to ask you all for your prayers.  For SUCCESS and HAPPINESS for my family and myself as we embark on this new path that lay in front of us. THANK YOU!